Now that I am at the point of turning final for a half century, flaps are down, gear down and power is back for a touchdown on runway 50….(Yea, I went flying today), 50 years old is soon approaching. For my friends who graduated with me, it’s hard to believe, for my brothers who grew up with me, after the passing of time, we are at ‘that age’.
Reaching these numbers has made me think about a lot of things. One of them is ‘companionship’… what I ‘thought I knew’ vs. what I am ‘starting to know’. I grew up being taught that Jesus is closer than a brother. By the way, just a funny note, did you know I learned how to throw rocks at moving objects, by chunking stones at my running brother? If I had read that verse as a child, I wouldn’t have thought the good things I think now. But as real as Jesus is to me, He is there in Heaven or living in my heart. This is different than what we associate ‘companion’ with at times, and it makes this verse harder to understand.
But I’ve watched companions before. My Mom and Dad are really great examples of this. They are ‘together’ in every way a couple can be. They know and understand one another, (as much any man and woman can). They play together, work together, cry together, love together, and listen together.
They are… together. There isn’t one without the other.
Elizabeth’s folks are the same. We go out on the boat with them at the coast and they both become AVID fisher people… together. They work and play together. It is a gift… and it is work. Both of these couples have 50 plus years of being together, which brings me to my point.
I am 100 feet off the touchdown of 50 years old. My airplane is bent, tires are bald, the paint is scratched, and the engine is puffing smoke, I am bouncing in the wind, and clearly needing some work. 🙂 In the last few years, I’ve had to make some hard decisions. I’ve had to do things I never contemplated doing. I’ve become things I never wanted to become. I’ve seen things I wouldn’t wish on anyone. (hence the smoking engine, and bent frame, scratched paint description) But, as I come close to touchdown of this zone in life, God has not only been with me, made a way for me, and held me close… but He has given me someone to walk with, to cry with, to laugh with, to fuss with, and to simply just hold hands when no words can be found.
For those of you at my age, maybe you will understand what I am about to say but, I didn’t understand ‘companion’ when I was young, when I was first married. Marriage was a new shiny thing and it was ‘great’ (I thought), till life came in. Life isn’t always a bad thing but my life presented some challenges that I wasn’t ready for, didn’t understand, and didn’t have any preparation to handle.That is the ‘MO’ for new couples.
It is 100% accurate for me to say, I am not the same man I was 25 years ago. I wonder often, if I will be as different 25 years from now? Don’t know, but what I do know is I am no longer alone. Without hitting the details, let’s say I’ve been alone for A LOT of years and I didn’t even know it. I am sure some of you know exactly what I am talking about. Being married, having no space, always having some form of energetic something forced on you, always having the ‘noise’ of someone, something else… but being so alone it leaves a taste in your mouth. “I will have a number four, with cheese and a extra large cup of alone… with ice please.” This isn’t meant to be mean to my ex… blame me, if that counts for anything. I’ll stand and take it all on me.
I am not playing the poor pitiful me fiddle. I’ve had a GREAT life and if it has taken me to just this point, to understand how to start living, then so be it, because it’s never too late to start. One of those starts is having a real ‘companion’.
Words can’t describe what I am talking about. There is a silence when your eyes meet. There is a ‘place’ where your souls collide, where the friction of ‘knowing’ takes place and no one, nothing can justify it, create it, or make it happen. It just does… It just is.
But words escape me so let me show you some pictures… some picture of my companion. A wise person once told me, that when you look down from on high, you don’t see straight lines. God is the miracle worker of taking all things broken, crooked, and twisted and making a wonderful tapestry of the knots we tie. I’ve been given another chance to live and I fully intend on giving it everything I’ve got. My thought for you this week is this.
Are you going to live life? Are you going to take your second chances? Don’t waste your breath…it’s borrowed anyway. Leap…
and Live.
Peace and safety this week.
One Response
When you are 5 years old, ten years old seems ancient. At 10 high schoolers have arrived. In college you see people launching their careers, their marriages,and their lives, and that is about as far in the future as you can think. At this point 50 may seem like a milestone to you. It is just another mile marker, marking some random point in middle age. 20 years ago was 30. 20 years from now is 70. They really don’t feel very different. The man inside is still the man inside, hopefully more mature, but with the same little boy driving many of your actions. Enjoy the season. Look forward to the wonderful times ahead with the knowledge that 50 really isn’t much different from 40 or 60.