Kick her to the Curb

The Jag had to go.

I grew up being a total motor head/car guy type. It wasn’t my intention, but it was in my blood and DNA. My Dad knows everything about cars. By default he kept everything running himself, and I was his helper. I loved the smell of oil, grease, and gas, and the idea of getting into a mechanical thing just revved me up. (pun intended)

I can’t tell you how many bicycles and lawn mowers I killed before I become ‘useful’, but I literally would spend hours thinking of gears, transmissions, and the internal working of engines, even when I was supposed to be doing other things (like school!). In truth, it actually helped me a lot, because the more I ‘thought’ about this stuff, the better the concepts of how it worked landed in my head.

Back in the late 70’s, when I was 12 or 13, our family made a big move from Greensboro to Raleigh. Dad went before us, sorta like Moses before the children of Israel. Mom closed up shop in Greensboro with the three boys. The day before we were to drive to Raleigh, Mom’s AMC Hornet needed surgery. For those that know cars… that isn’t unusual… the Hornet needing help, that is.

The single one barrel carburetor died. I called Daddy in Raleigh and told him I was going to rebuild it, so we could make it to Raleigh. Though I was a kid, this was the kind of motor head I was.

So through the years, my favorite car movie was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and for some reason I have always equated the Jaguars as the real Chitty Chitty’s of the world.

The day came, a few years ago, when I purchased a 1997 Jaguar XJ6L. Let’s get the pronunciation correct first. Most American’s say ‘Jagwire’. Clearly those of us with a ‘sophisticated bone’…yea right, like there is a sophisticated bone in my body… but, those of us with a ‘sophisticated’ understanding of the car, know it is pronounced “Jag-U-R”.

This car was absolutely beautiful. Well, actually, she was a little run down but I could see through the old paint, bad tires, neglected engine to what a awesome car she was at heart. (Yes, cars have hearts.)  5500 pounds of real steel. This car would do all of 150 mph and be as steady as a rock. She handled like a sports car in the turns, and had some of the sexist lines of the 90’s Jags.

And being fully a Jag and for those that don’t know… it breaks… A LOT.

Part of the love affair with a high maintenance car is all of the ‘extra’ you get when it is working. I’ve been known, in the past, to be attracted to high maintenance things in life. (I will spare you the details.) Cars were no different.

The equation worked like this. If I made about $1000.00 dollars worth of repairs per year, it came out to less than a car payment. I am not talking wear and tear, I am talking unexpected repairs. So for two years straight I was ‘under’ what a a car payment would cost. I either fixed or had someone fix what broke for me, thus I kept my cost down, and I never had to pay collision, like I would on a car I was making payments on… just liability insurance.

When you cranked this car, she came to life with her 4.0 liter straight 6. She would idle smoothly (when everything was working), and pull herself down the road at around 27 MPG on the highway. Not bad for a luxury heavy weight. I drove her for about 60,000 miles before giving her up. This last year the cost just got too high, the time off the road, carrying her back and forth to the shop, borrowing my dad’s truck while it was out of commission… it was just too much.

I made the difficult decision to let her go. I put her up on craigslist and for 4 months got nothing but one offer, $900.00 and a boat… a boat by the way, which had no seats, rotten floors and no motor.

Not a great deal, though I did consider it for a while. 🙂

I took her to Carmax and that just made me mad. I guess they thought I was totally stupid. When they gave me their offer I told them I could make 3 times that overnight. They said I was wrong.

Nope…

About a month ago a gentleman bought her, sight unseen. Though there was some drama around the actual sale on the day of pick up, like ‘not enough cash’, we finally finished the transaction. Normally I have a bit of emotion around a car going (don’t know if you are like that), but after almost 3 hours of waiting for all of the details to pan out, I was like, “just go”. The buyer put her dern dog in my car and drove away. (A dog in a Jag!!)

So after years of driving nice cars; BMW, Lexus, Avalon types of cars, I did the unthinkable for a car guy. I committed the ‘unpardonable sin’. I turned my back on everything I have thought and done about my driving experience and purchased a…

Wait for it…

… a Buick.

I should get a ‘Scarlet B’ for this!

I am pretty sure it comes with accessories like a free package of ‘Depends’, and a year’s membership to AARP. I also expected it would have a built in ‘Hover Round’ support rack in the back and Pat Boone infomercial running adds for seniors and walk in tubs on the radio.

But let me tell you… it is like sitting down in the most comfortable recliner with a steering wheel that drives sorta like a grocery cart!

I’ve also noticed that the ‘respect’ other drivers used to give me when they saw a red 5500 lbs Jaguar hurtling down the road is gone like a Civil War soldier… If someone pulls up beside me, I am ‘automotive debris’ to be totally ignored. There is even a possible smirk or laugh as they pass me. 

However, it has 80,000 miles on it and it smooth as silk going down the road.

And best of all….

IT STARTS!

Safe Travels this week.