The Last Days of the Ponies

I have been around a number of different animals in my life thus far, but one of the most intriguing and beguiling have been horses.

Though I prefer to ride something with a throttle and seat, I have to admit there is a romance to riding astride a living, got a will of it’s own, breathing, animal. It is a relationship and a dance that is woven into every movement, walk, trot, canter, and gallop. It is a breathing, evolving give and take that doesn’t exist with any other animal. The level of mutual trust that exists between horse and rider is something to experience, not describe, so I will stop trying.

But this past Sunday was the last day of the horses at Morning Glory Farm. My best friend, partner, and editor I might add, Elizabeth Love, is downsizing. There is a contract on the farm, and it was time to move the horses that she’s had for the better part of 10 years.

The herd has ebbed and flowed over the years. Though I haven’t been around for all 10 years, I have been through some of the good, and the tough times with horses. Putting down these beautiful creatures leaves a mark on your soul. Though I am not minimizing your favorite dog or cat, it is different, and there is an awareness that horses have that I haven’t sensed anywhere else.

The last horse we put down was Halley. Talk about a spirit of her own and the alpha of the herd for sure… The first time I was left in charge, while Elizabeth went out of town, was a real learning experience for me. Elizabeth left at 4am to board a flight to Colorado. I arrived just in time to make sure all was ready, and she left. It was drizzling and foggy… so foggy that you couldn’t see 10 feet in front of you, and you almost had to cut your way through the mist to see.

The horses’ shed had two stalls, and the horses had to be fed separately from one another. Both Sensei, the male and Willow, the younger mare, moved as slow as Christmas when I called them to the shed in the dark, fog, and drizzle.

No Halley.

I locked them both, Willow and Sensi, respectively in their stalls, gave them their feed and started looking for Halley. No show, and ‘no can see’. It was wet, yucky and ‘I have to go to work and this horse can’t be found dagnabit!’ I did everything Elizabeth taught me, yet no horse. Halley was old and the first thing that crossed my ever-positive thinking mind was… ‘she’s dead and Elizabeth just got on a jet airplane’. I proceeded to walk the back 6 acres or so looking for a dead black horse in the dark black, foggy, drizzly morning.

No Halley.

I then got in my Lexus, opened the gates, drove in, locked the gates, and proceeded to use the headlights to look for Halley. It took like 10 minutes of slow driving to finally find her by almost bumping into her. She was turned away, TOTALLY ignoring me AND THE CAR.

‘What kind of freaking animal are you?’ I was thinking. I literally pulled up beside her and called her name. She just turned away and then it clicked… “Ah…you’re the boss heh” I said. “well, new sheriffs in town big sister…” And I drove away.

Miss Halley didn’t eat that day.

Day two – time for feeding. 5 am and the sky is a rich low black with auburn/red on the horizon. There are still stars directly above me. I called “Sensi, Willow, Halley, come on…” in a high pitch voice because I was trying to sound like Elizabeth. Horses are smart and they knew or could ‘feel’ I wasn’t their momma, but food is food. Universal language. I came out of the tack room to see Willow and Sensi clodding, plodding, heads drooping, taking MY time to get in from the pastures.

No Halley. “Where is that horse now?” I am thinking. I head around to the stalls and Halley is already there. Ah… nice, she knows who’s the boss now.

WRONG

When Willow showed up I led her to her stall to promptly be blocked by Halley. For real…

So I moved to put Willow in Sensei’s stall, and as I moved Willow over, Halley dropped it in reverse and literally blocked that stall also.

Wow…Talk about spirit. It took about 3 days for us to start to ‘communicate’. 🙂 She was that kind of boss for sure. She lived with that spirit until we put Halley down on April 12, 2012. There is a nobility that horses innately have, and putting her down, though it was the best, right, and good thing to do, gutted us both in a way I didn’t expect. Even in death, Halley, like all horses, seemed to understand me and Elizabeth, understood it was time to go, and graciously put herself in our care.

Willow, the youngest of the 3 and the most attached to Halley, literally to the minute Halley’s breathing stopped, squealed, screamed and started running the fence line, kicking and bucking like I have never seen her do. It scared me and I was convinced that she would break through the fence to get to her Halley. We all wanted her back.

Clearly there’s a connection we don’t fully understand.

As Elizabeth continues to dismantle the life she ‘knew’ and ‘dreamed of’, we knew this was going to be a very hard move. Again, if you’ve never been in a relationship with a horse, and it is just that… a relationship, then it might not make sense, but the horses seemed to know and understand. Elizabeth has some weird, almost creepy way of communicating with animals but with horses it is a whole different level. She spent her last afternoon petting, combing, scratching and ‘being’ with them. Though we knew this day would come, the dread was hanging. There are two things about that old farmhouse that give it life.

Elizabeth and the horses.

As the trailer pulled up, we got ready and loaded them both for the 45 minute drive to their new home. Horse integration is a very interesting thing to watch, and I was hoping to see some ‘fireworks’ between her horses and the new ones, when we unloaded them. As usual, Willow stayed on the trailer. “I am not stepping down off this thing!” So we had to get the old man Sensei to show her how it was done. He stepped right out and was looking around as Elizabeth finally convinced Willow the sky wasn’t falling and she could move.

New Pastures, new Horses and a happy home. There were a few sparks between Elizabeth’s horses and the 3 that currently live at the new location. But 30 minutes into the integration and 5 horses, one a mini by the way, found a place and were eating grass, putting a new life together. Elizabeth gave her horse stuff to the new owners, we loaded up into the Buick and started down the dirt driveway. I don’t think I will ever forget how Sensei turned to look at us, just as we were about to go out of sight of. His acknowledgment let me know, he knew… it was time, and he was saying goodbye in his own way. He’s a good boy.

Willow… just ate… 🙂

I used to sing this to my little one when she was a baby. It just seems appropriate

So for you Elizabeth, and all of us who had to move on in life with a loss, I think of this Kenny Loggins song he sang for his 1994 Album Return to Pooh Corner.

Hush a bye

Don’t you cry

Go to sleep my little baby

When you wake

You shall have

All the pretty little ponies

In your bed

Momma said

Baby’s riding off to dreamland

One by one

They’ve begun

Dance and prance for little baby

Blacks and bays, dapples and greys

Running in the night

When you wake

You shall have

All the pretty little ponies

Can you see the little ponies

Dance before your eyes

All the pretty little ponies

Will be there when you arise…

To Willow and Sensei… Thank you for all you gave to us. The life, the heartbeat, the beating hoofs, galloping, shaking the ground with thunder, the hot breath, the rolling, playing, nickering and whinnying, the absolute peace and calm, and the warmth of your being, shared with us… you brought such life to Morning Glory Farm.

You will always be a part of us.

When I start to miss them, I can close my eyes and still feel the heat passing away in a summer eve’s breeze, I can feel Willow break into a full gallop, thundering from the back pasture, clods of dirt flying with her main tossing, as she eats the distance between herself and the unknown assailant she is running from. I still see her make a straight line toward Elizabeth. It’s like watching or feeling a freight train power straight up to you, plow to a stop and let off steam and heat as she finds her safety again. She nuzzles her nose to Elizabeth and goes from being a titanic mass of muscle, will, heart and spirit, to tenderness all in one.

These horses are a reminder to me, you will never know who you encounter on your journey and these noble creatures are well worth the time effort to get to know.

Safe journeys this week…