I am fascinated by human behavior and how we react to situations. Understand I said ‘react’ not act. We react to everyday situations and things that present us with a choice on how to respond. That choice we choose and the behavior that we exhibit interests me.
I was studying some information not long ago about addictions. One of the things that stood out for me was the description of how our understanding of addiction might be backwards or wrong. The underlying cause might not be so much about addiction as it is about environment and bonding, and how we as human beings have a need to bond. Once that bonding occurs we get attached to certain things, including, how we react to situations. We see these reactions as an addiction, but it’s really more of a relationship; it’s about bonding and identification.
I had this opportunity not long ago to test some ideas about how ‘we’ as humans react to situations and understand that a lot of our reactions are more of a ‘bonding’ and addiction of sorts to situations out of our control.
I was flying back from New York not long ago. We flew down to Baltimore where there was a 3-hour layover. You know how it goes, just being in the airport can be exhausting. I also have a rule of not wearing dress clothes when I fly. When I travel I am just shy of pajama traveler! 🙂 We finally boarded but remained on the ground for about 25 minutes. The flight was 100% full. It was hot and stacked with uncomfortable human energy! The Captain stepped out and announced there was a ‘ground stop’ in RDU due to weather. We were going to be delayed over an hour.
The mood on the plane changed immediately. I heard more than one person say, “Well then why did you board us?” as if the flight crew knew this was going to happen. The negative energy that flowed….(good word) was like the old Christian kid’s song…”Deep and wide, deep and wide there’s a fountain flowing deep a wide” Many folks were very ‘bonded’ to their view of this situation. They were ‘reacting’ to something out of their control and the human tendency to lash out was on full display. We were not a happy bunch.
The airline let those who wanted off the plane to go back into the terminal. I chose to stay on board, stretch out and watch a movie! The flight crew, the flight attendants were all unhappy with this situation as well. We were all uncomfortable. About 20 minutes later, into the first of many Micheal Bay explosions, a flight attendant, named Jill, came by with an offer of something to drink. I had a thought… this is a great opportunity for experiment… let me see what will happen if I offer to help. I’m not a flight attendant and I haven’t been trained in this specific skill but
I can be helpful…
We all can be helpful,
You can be helpful.
There was only about a 1/3 of the passengers on board. “Hey,” I said to Jill, “can I help you with that?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “No sir, that is very kind of you, but thank you anyway.”
“Well,” I said, “when it comes time to clean up let me know and I will be glad to help pick up trash.”
She shook her head and said, “Thank you,” one more time.
About 30 minutes later, I pulled myself from my deeply character-driven, explosion laced movie, to walk toward the front of the plane. I asked, “Jill, could I have my trash bag please?”
She said, “You’re serious?” with a questioning tone.
I said in my best southern accent, “Well, yes ma’am… would you like me to start at the rear of the aircraft?”
She nodded her approval.
To the back I went and started asking passengers who had empty cups and trash, “Could I have your trash, please? I am singing for trash today.” The looks on peoples faces were the best. Some got it, some didn’t, but as I worked my way back, one flight attendant offered me a job, the second one asked where I was when she was actually on duty. 🙂 As I worked my way to the front of the plane, I started engaging folks in conversation.
“Is this your last leg home? Did you have a good visit on your trips?” But the line I loved the best was, “We thank you so much for flying with us today and we are so sorry …we control a lot of things but the weather isn’t one of them.”
One passenger said something like, “Hey, while you have your flight attendant superpowers, can you get us free alcoholic beverages?”
I looked at Jill and it was obvious, my superpowers have just been exceeded. Clearly, they extended to ‘conversation’ and ‘trash collection’ only.
But here is what I learned.
When the unexpected positive happens in a negative environment it can change the room. Those who were ‘bonded’ to reacting a certain way changed their tune. People were laughing, chilling out, more relaxed than before this exercise started. Also, the cabin crew had a different feel. They were laughing, having a good time and it was clear, something had changed by just the act of trash being collected in a way that doesn’t normally occur.
When I finally got to RDU the cabin crew up front hugged me and shook my hands thanking me for helping out.
What I learned was…
Life is composed of so many different events and occurrences and how we ‘react’ affects those around us. Our attitude, the energy we bring to a situation is like the wind that is all around us, never to be seen. Negative and positive are all around us. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could continue to move the needle to positive? I think, by our everyday actions of kindness toward one another, that needle will move.
Let’s move it together.
Peace on your journey this week.
