Not too many days ago I stood in a Virginia afternoon sun by the grave of a dear friend, from many years ago. Standing with the shining warmth on my back I realized that our time together felt like it was yesterday… high school graduates, brought together by an unseen direction and hand, we bonded in college at Deeds Hall on Franklin Street near downtown Winston Salem.
We were a good fit.
For most of us, home wasn’t too far away. For me, 2 hours, for some more and some less but this, our dorm, was to be our new home, where God would knit us together for a purpose still not fully realized. Yes, even being so young, the cold, crooked finger of death touched our shores, reminding us that life is fragile and fleeting, but for the most part, we had a full head of steam, trucking down the track filled with promise and possibility. As it does with youth, this new start was stuffed with hearts not really understanding the important things of life. We were all too consumed with trying to figure out this next phase of life and didn’t really have much of a chance to stop, breathe, and take it all in.
Like most of life before 50, it seemed to drag slowly forward like driving with the emergency brakes on, or flying with full flaps… the days just seemed to ooze slowly like molasses, but what none of us saw, at that long ago start, was the life long bond being built, which would run through the test of time and rest of our lives.
We were in the traveling choir together and spent many hours on a bus or van driving up and down the East Coast, singing and meeting so many people. Time has erased the details but left the joyous impression of such good souls like warm, meaty soup on a cold fall day.
It was and is good to the bone.
And we all got to do it all together.
As we got in the rhythm of school, the days rolled into weeks and months, and the cadence, like a metronome ticking, counted our time together. Yes, there were times when it wasn’t fun, when we got on each other’s nerves and when we needed to go sit in our corners for time out, but in the end we did dorm living together and grew as men. Our journey together started before the internet, before home computers took over, and communication was no faster than dropping a quarter into a payphone, but we built a home and community in our hearts.
Like the seasons’ change, so did our days as the inevitable started to occur. Soon-to-be mates were introduced and the basis of our Deeds Hall family grew and ultimately separated in the natural path God intended. Though our ‘after hours’ hanging out began to disappear as we paired up and paired off, the foundational love and comradery were still seen, still heard ringing in our past like old steepled church bells tolling their reminder on a bright clear morning… we were friends.
I stood now, beside another member of our brotherhood at this gravesite, re-living the time and wondering where it went. As the clear acapella soloist sang Amazing Grace I wondered…
Is this a sunset or a sunrise?
It depends on your perspective. 
For us, on this end, it’s a sunset but for Von, our dear brother, it was his first of many sunrises in the presence of the true King, who brought us all together so many years ago. As we wash in the ever-fading memories of a life finished here, I pray our dear friend has found his peace with the ones who have gone before and his Heavenly Father.
Though no new memories will be created, no new chapters of this life’s story will be pinned, its place in our hearts is set in golden-lined pages. How could we young men, so eager, so fresh to the world, know who would go first and what impact we would have? Did we grow up to be what we wanted, grow up to be who we thought we were going to be? In this toxic, polluted broken world these friendships are what bring the joy, the light, and love God has shed on us all.
To all of those young men and our dreams of the future, and to our departed brother Von…
Thank you,
William Von Heffinger
September 10, 1963 – October 12, 2021
One Response
I often question if another chapter gets pinned…..as the legacy of lives are changed by the influence and inspiration gifted from the relationships one has invested in….the stories shared to help the next generation live better because of who they were. And that I am better because i got to and get to share the life story that collided together and help form the me I now get to give away. So sorry for your loss.