Not long ago I had to drive down east for business and personal reasons. One trip was to drive from Raleigh to Hatteras, on the outer banks and back in one day to pick up something for my son. The other trip was to take my boss down Bentonville for the Tuna Run. (A run of about 200 miles as a relay). As we got further and further out east the back roads were blocked, closed or changed all due to Hurricane Matthew. Eastern NC took at lof water damage and roads were literally ‘washed’ and ‘eroded’ away.
In recent months between personal life things, health issues, etc. I have noticed an ‘erosion’ to my own ‘stance, being, life and self’. It reminds me of something Paul mentions in his writings. ‘Being content at any stage he is in’. Well, let me first say I am hugely guilty of NOT being this. Content is not a word I fully ‘embrace’ shall we say. In the wise words of Yoda….”All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was… what he was doing.
Yea, that’s me…always ‘wanting’ or ‘looking’ for more but never paying attention to what I have or what is in front of me. I am not sure where it all comes and I am sure some is from being totally selfish, but I think some of it is related to goal setting. I am a huge believer in setting goals. I am also totally intolerant of MISSING said goals or not being able to reach them in the time ‘I set it forth’…because clearly… I am the master of my universe. (right)!
I don’t compete with others so much as myself. And… I don’t like losing. I have seen in the last 12 months that my expectations of performance in life might be a tad bit ‘off’. When things happen that keep me from my goals I get totally ticked and lose perspective quickly. As an example, I started working on my IFR ticket (Flying thing) about a year ago. I can fly only on the weekends, and the airport I use is an hour and a half away. There is not a ‘quick’ way to get to training. Count in weather, plane maintenance, cost, and meeting a goal of never going in debt for this, being a single parent, shoulder surgery, health issues etc., means being consistent is a constant fight. Here is the correlation I wanted to get to…
This ‘angst’ about all that life is throwing at me has ‘eroded’ something in me… get it? Eroded some core things about life and myself. First off, just a reminder, we are not promised or guaranteed the next breath. That needs to ‘land’ so to speak. I truly have to remind myself I am NOT the master of my universe. I have said it before and I will say it again, I no longer believe in ‘accidents’ as thought of traditionally. Nothing get past God by accident. He isn’t looking the other way when bad things happen. That just isn’t the case. Now ask me to explain the horrors of the world we’ve seen and I can’t answer it. I don’t know, but I believe there is a plan. What have I learned and I pray we all learn, is that my plan, our plans, aren’t always ‘the plan.’
Letting ‘things’ erode our hearts, our minds, our souls in the end isn’t worth it, i.e., letting the bitterness of not meeting self expectations, or meeting up to others expectations, isn’t worth the ‘dissatisfaction’, we/I, carry along. It becomes extra weight, baggage, on every part of what it means to be human. I compare it do what happens to us as we gain weight. EVERY part of our body carries the weight no matter where it is located. That is what this erosion does to us. It can affect everything. The message the church group got when we were kids was on point but missed it sometimes. It came across more about separating than protection of the soul, spirit, the inward places that are worth fighting for. How many of us look back on our youth, our decisions and try our best to talk our young into not doing what we did? How often does it come across as, ‘DON’T DO THIS BECAUSE IT IS BAD, WRONG, etc.’? How often does that message miss the mark of really needs to be said?
There are no easy ways to tell a young woman, possessed with the idea of giving herself away because she thinks it means she is loved or valued, that this might not be the best idea. It is just as difficult to convey this to the young man who throws away a part of himself also in the same act. Hormones are flying and the message of the age is, “Do what you want. No one has a right to tell you anything.” But those of my generation who have been down that road KNOW, deep down, it isn’t just a dead end, but something that changes you forever. Is it really worth the erosion?
Talk to me about ‘bitter old people’ and we can chat all day long. How did this happen? How about a bitter nation? Look at us, at least from the media side of things. We are a very unhappy country and we sue each other over our McNugget count being off! This election we are in is no different. We are literally, via the media, thrashing at each other over who we vote for. It isn’t worth it.
Things we know for sure – drugs, pornogragy, graphic horrible events in life ‘errode’ us. They don’t build us up, they bring us down, they tear at the fabric of something precious.
Entitlement is another issue I have seen with myself. I try to make myself out to be ‘such’ a good guy but the second someone or something happens that upsets what little I fight over, I lose it! Bad Jeffy!
Truth is in a world where so many things are ‘at our fingertips’ we’ve become so busy with getting ‘things’ or ‘paying’ for the things, we’ve lost something in our hearts, and that is where I see the erosion I speak of.
I pray we all, myself included, start to look at life and find the events, the people, the situations that build us up and we can build up. Or… to put it another way, may I please become more of a contributor to life than a consumer.
There is no easy way to label everything that is going to erode you, and truth be told, you can’t keep it all out of your life. It is going to happen. But when you see yourself make choices that lead you into bitterness or erosion of the good this life is, and all that it has to offer, then we/I, need to step back, take a look and watch the leaves change color, see the smile on your loved ones faces, hold someone’s hand and ‘give’ back for moment.
Peace this week on your journey.
