Good vs Right?

Wow, talk about a odd topic…and one that again, is important to me personally. I have spent the better part of my life trying to BE or define ‘right-ness’. I looked for being right in so many areas:  religion, politics, child-rearing, the judicial system, social norms, and moral codes.

This was part of the air I breathed, growing up in a world focused on ‘right and wrong’. Our educational system, and in reality, just about every ‘system’ rewards this focus.

There is a ‘right’ way to bake a cake, a ‘right’ way to fly a plane and a right way to handle relationships. Don’t believe me, just ask a cook, a pilot, and a wife.

So, from my perspective, this was a worthy goal, and something that became deeply ingrained.

There are PLENTY of advocates who make a good living telling us what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’. I am not postulating there isn’t a universal right or wrong. I am saying, I think that the focus on ‘right vs wrong’ leads to some unfortunate results.
What would happen instead, if we the light we followed was not focused on ‘right’, but focused on what is ‘good’. This is much more difficult, as it exists outside of the black and white duality, and asks us to get comfortable living in a world where thing don’t wrap up in tidy bows.

So here is a discovery I’ve made for myself, and I am wondering if this is something that might speak to you.

There are times where I have found that being right doesn’t always line up with being good.

When our pursuit of ‘right’ become more important then our pursuit of just being a plain old good human being, or, if our pursuit of ‘right’ becomes more important than understanding, and being a part of the community around us, then we need to stop and re-think this process of focusing on ‘right’.

I watch in so many arenas, where people divide on the basis of different ideas of ‘right’, and I don’t think the answer is to redefine our community and make it smaller and smaller ’till everyone we are with see things our way. That, simply put, just isn’t reasonable.

When you listen to the news that is your brand (see Blog: Trap), you hear what you think is right; right about the facts and more importantly, right about the interpretations of events.

Does it equate good?

What happens in those places where ‘right’ isn’t really good?

We can all agree that those who hid the Jews during WWII were responding in a way that was ‘good’. But a large and dangerous group of the population saw it as wrong because it was against the law. They even convinced themselves that the extermination of the Jewish community was ‘right’.

Now, I’m a Christian, and I hold that very dearly, but it wasn’t too long ago that ‘Christians’ were killing Jews, and just about anybody else that didn’t believe the way they believed. Thankfully now, except for the occasional extremist and unbalanced congregation, Christian groups would find it totally abhorrent to postulate killing others over differing beliefs about what is ‘right’.

Maybe the point is to be ‘good’, understanding that being good is a soft target, not always easily found.
“What is the right thing to do?” might not be the best question.
Maybe the question could be, “How can I respond with goodness in this situation?”

You all know, and we’ve all seen, when someone thinks they found the secret, or got it ‘right’ they put up a flag pole, build a monument, see others as ‘wrong’, and then camp out for the next half century, as life and society moves on. All those years later they are still there asking where everyone went?
“Uh… they moved on dude.”

In camping out on a focus of ‘right’, they lost the opportunity to contribute to, and influence, the world and culture around them. It divided them out.
Clearly, I think focusing on being ‘good’ is a more effective way to live.

Being ‘right’ and ‘getting it right’ also starts leading us to a place where perfection, and the fear of getting it ‘wrong’, becomes more important than new growth.

I heard someone once say, “Perfection is the enemy of accomplishment.”

Trying to get it ‘right’ can easily lead to never getting anything done. A point in time comes in each of our lives where we need to decide, and then act. We need to start moving and stop waiting for everyone to clamor to our side and applaud the ‘rightness’ of our decisions.

That applause rarely comes before we act, and I would bet, if you ask, most of the individuals whom we consider to have ‘made it’ didn’t wait for everything to be ‘right’ but did their best at being ‘good’ in whatever field they chose to pursue.

Some might say I am campaigning for a mediocre approach that sets the bar to low, and doesn’t encourage practice and improvement.

No. Sports metaphors only go just so far, when we’re talking about our lives. This is about being a ‘good’ soul while we are here, and if someone thinks they hold the corner on the market of what that means in every situation, then they are sadly mistaken.
‘Good’ is, in so many ways, a higher bar to strive for, than ‘right’. It comes from our hearts, not from our heads.

As I have said before, the stories of our lives do not unfold in straight lines. That is life. I would encourage you to let go of the tyranny of ‘right’, and focus on living a ‘good’ one!

As I make my travels through this life, I can honestly say that kindness… goodness to one another, in whatever form it shows up, is a universal language. This to me sounds like a more worthy light to follow, than being ‘right’.

Peace on the road,

Jeff Kennon